Sugar We’re Going Down


Asking me to be your girlfriend through text
Nuff said.

Young and stupid (at least in my case)
We were in high school, and hormones were soaring. I was drunk at the thought that we were graduating and moving on with our lives, going to different colleges, on different regions. You weren’t stupid, I knew that. It was you who asked me, and I just said ‘yes’ because maybe I was stupid. “Will you be my girlfriend?” “Yes.” I wasn’t thinking things through, I didn’t consider the consequences, I was just living in the moment.

20,000 leagues apart
Distance (absence) makes the heart grow fonder. That was what I kept telling myself. I was hoping you believed in the same thought, but I realized that absence, or distance, only makes the heart forget, explore alternatives, makes you find something, or someone, to fill the gap.

Me vs. Ex
You said you liked me, that we could happen. But then you said the same thing to her two days after you told me that.

A secret affair
We would date, talk about movies, especially those from graphic novels. We would have intellectual debates over beer, appreciate art, talk about Chris Nolan, talk about anything. I was happy, you were happy. But I was the mistress. I was your “girlfriend” only in school, and when you went home, there was your “real girlfriend”; the girlfriend you introduced to your mother. The sneakiness of our relationship was exciting, it was something new for me. But we, or rather I, had to put a cork on it. I felt guilty, wrong, dirty. I felt that you were being unfair, to me, and especially to her. Maybe in another universe, we had worked it out.

I may be the girl in front of you, but she was the one in your mind
Even though you told me I was funny, nice, sweet, and awesome – even if I was all the positive superlatives in the universe, I could never be that girl you think of. I can never compete with that girl. She was what he dreams of every night, and I’m just… me.

Me vs. Ex part two
It’s funny because your friends from before were rooting for you and your ex to go back together again, (cue “Muling ibalik ang tamis ng pag-ibig) while our friends were rooting for us to be together. I felt like an option, and what I wanted (in my mind) was to be the choice. At least, we’re still friends and who knows what could happen…

Fooling around with me… And her, and her
I did not understand myself why I tolerated those sexy texts and sneaky meet ups. Even worse, I knew the other girls you were “playing” with. If the call is after two thirty, it’s for the dirrrrrty. – Han, 2 Broke Girls. Aaaaand worst, I know that he is in love with another girl, yet he just can’t do the things we do, with her.

Bi now, gay later

Should I even explain this?

It was a fun ride with him, and even though we now ogle at the same sex, we are still great friends. Shopping buddies!!


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